Friday, February 3, 2012

Relations in a Relationship w/ Questions

I feel like I do 30% of my blogs on relationships but tonight I have a few questions to want to ask and give my answer.

 Do you believe in open relationships?

For me the answer is mixed. I am sure as I get older I would want a more monotonous relationship but right now I like to have that option open, if I was in a relationship. I dunno maybe a like-minded individual feels the same way. On the other hand, if... and I'm being really blunt, if the sex is good, no phenomenal, then sure I don't need anyone else. Sex is not and should not be the basis of a relationship but let's face it, we all like it and want it at some point or another.

UPDATE: I originally wrote this blog 3 weeks ago but had it saved as a draft. In that time, I spoke with a friend who is in an open relationship and explained how it works for him. He told me that is is more for companionship than anything else. You set the rules of the open relationship. For example must you tell your partner everytime you mess around with another person? Do you have three-somes together? The answers to those questions are set by the couple. I honestly see it as friends with benefits but to each his own.

Why choose to be single?


Will said...

For me, it wouldn’t work. But I know lots of people support open relationships. I know of this guy from high school who lives with this woman. He’s gay, she’s a lesbian. They live together as a couple and are buying a house together, but they have their sexual relations with other people away from home. It works for them. Sort of like what you said about with your friend, companionship. These two are committed – more so as house mates than as lovers. They share the bills, household responsibilities, and satisfy one another’s emotional needs. Companionship is way up there. But they are not physical. They go outside for that.

I once considered something like this with an old friend, but realized that it would be cheating myself out of true happiness. An open relationship would not work for me. If I’m with you, then I’m with you, problems and all. If things are bad, then I’d rather just call it quits then to have a fling or two on the side. You’re right, the importance the sexual part of the relationship. When it’s absolutely great and all the other things are average or if everything else is not so great, I’d still be unhappy. I know of one gay couple who both claim to be bottoms. So they get their sexual needs satisfied outside of the relationship but come home for everything else that makes up the relationship. I guess like you said each couple has to decide how it works for them. I know it just wouldn’t work for me.

back2life said...

I had a conversation with a friend back home about this. For him, people who didn't want an open relationship could be considered insecure. I hadn't looked at it that way, but honestly I don't see the benefits for myself in that situation. I'm no playa playa type as a single guy, so having more sexual partners while in a relationships does nothing for me.