Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Possessive/Jealous Dating

Today I have a unique but very common topic to blog about. Possessive and/or jealous partners in dating or in a relationship. I blog about this because I believe I have recently engaged someone who shows these signs. I have only known him for a few weeks yet I have never encountered anyone that have shown these signs, especially when intoxicated. This person is very smart and good looking, so I am surprised at the actions they display when we are out. For example, If I glance at another guy, he assumes I want him (this has happened a couple of times) It gets to the point where he approaches the guy and practically puts me out there. As I was out for a friend's bday at a club last night, he ended up being there and standing over me the entire time. Sure, it is nice to see someone and be around them but I do not like being controlled or bossed around. We had our second heated argument, (the first resulting in me taking him home after a house party and I being called everything but a child of God) in the parking lot in which I told him me is a possessive and jealous guy. He admitted to being a jealous guy but even as I type this I can say I can be a jealous guy, but not to the extent of standing over any dude all night, especially one I just met. I know people who have been in relationships for years who to my knowledge never displayed such insecure actions. I'll just list a couple of circumstances and you tell if if shows jealousy or possessiveness: (Mind you we just met 3 weeks ago...)

1.Calling me baby or introducing me as his "boyfriend."
2. Asking to see my cellphone and gets upset when I don't.
3. Ask specific questions to what I am doing at the moment.
4. Get's upset If I look at another dude.
5. Calls me, then texts me to call him If I don't pick up the phone.
6. Get's every tweet I write directly to his phone as a text.
7. Standing over me at a party all night.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Assults on the LGBT Community

In recent days, we have heard and seen surges of attacks both vocally and physically of LGBT persons. First, we read about the tweet from Ronald Martin during the Superbowl which asserted that if a man was to get excited about a pair of underwear, he should be smacked. Martin days later would be suspended from CNN for his tweet after pressure from GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.) Later the same week, we saw a young, presumably gay black male, viciously assaulted outside of a corner store in southwest Atlanta. The FBI and Atlanta police are investing. 

While I don't believe the two are remotely connected, both have raised national attention again on the treatment of LGBT people and specifically in the African American community. First, It is no secret that hatred is spoken from the pulpit in churches across the country every Sunday. I never understood how Christians and some pastors can make Jesus, a man who walked amongst with the most oppressed of people, to be construed into a Jesus that hates a certain sect of people. Second, It is unfortunate that it took these recent events to create dialogue again about one of the many problems plaguing the black community. We have come too far as a people to let something as small as one's sexual orientation be the achilles heel of our progress in this country. Especially when LGBT have and continue to have an influence on this country and the world. In short, we cannot ask for full acceptance as many people are set in their ways and beliefs but tolerance is a first step towards changing the mindset of a well-known journalist and a couple of "low life thugs."


Friday, February 3, 2012

Relations in a Relationship w/ Questions

I feel like I do 30% of my blogs on relationships but tonight I have a few questions to want to ask and give my answer.

 Do you believe in open relationships?

For me the answer is mixed. I am sure as I get older I would want a more monotonous relationship but right now I like to have that option open, if I was in a relationship. I dunno maybe a like-minded individual feels the same way. On the other hand, if... and I'm being really blunt, if the sex is good, no phenomenal, then sure I don't need anyone else. Sex is not and should not be the basis of a relationship but let's face it, we all like it and want it at some point or another.

UPDATE: I originally wrote this blog 3 weeks ago but had it saved as a draft. In that time, I spoke with a friend who is in an open relationship and explained how it works for him. He told me that is is more for companionship than anything else. You set the rules of the open relationship. For example must you tell your partner everytime you mess around with another person? Do you have three-somes together? The answers to those questions are set by the couple. I honestly see it as friends with benefits but to each his own.

Why choose to be single?