Sunday, January 25, 2009

Relationship No More


Hello all, I write this blog with an inept feeling. So as you may know my relationship has struggled over the last month. My now ex blames me for the majority if it. It was pretty much his way or the highway. He wanted so much damn attention that I could not give at this stage in my life. I have finally realized that I do not want a relationship until I have settled on some of my goals. I have come to see that being young and in a relationship is almost a joke unless you are both going in the same direction and apparently we were pulling different ways. Nonetheless I have no hard or ill feelings against him. He is still a good person and I hope he finds his true happiness. Its funny how we broke up, over yahoo messenger. No call (which he said he would do the previous night) just a mutual agreement to end it. I think one of the other problems most people have with relationships including us is how to make it last without becoming so stagnant and frankly boring. We had the greatest time together but away from each other it was hard. I felt like I was in a long distance relationship. We saw each other barely once a week because of his work schedule and the fact that he lived 30-45 minutes away. My car not being operational didn't help either. So all in all as much as I wish it could have gone on and the potential he showed because it's hard as hell to find a good dude, I didn't want to beat a dying horse.

15 comments:

JB said...

That kinda sounds similar to my previous one. It's good that BOTH of yall agreed on it though

thegayte-keeper said...

just shows that two persons kinda needs to be on the same wave length ESPECIALLY where each other is concerned...what were your gay ages?

Keith Jones said...

lol gayte-keeper we are both 23 turning 24 this year.

Pharaoh said...

Keith, I'm sorry to hear this, I first read your page when you posted a pic of you and your beau.
Only accept the blame that belongs to you, dear. As long as you know you did all you could to make it work then you have no reason to feel inept. I know that you enjoyed the time you guys spent together, SO don't feel bad about it ending. Just understand what you recieved and what you can learn from it.

Mr. Jones said...

Ahhh, shucks. Sorry this didnt work out for you. Hope you rebound quickly cus sulking over a man is never a good look. Especially a man that looks as good as you.

"I have come to see that being young and in a relationship is almost a joke unless you are both going in the same direction and apparently we were pulling different ways."

Relationships between two people on different chapters in a book is a joke regardless of age. It never works out. Too bad we cant just figure that out from jump.

Anonymous said...

Now reading this I have to let you all know, including Keith D. Jones. I didn't ask for "too much damn attention" all I asked for was more communication during the time we don't see each other. Now mind you I'm a manager at Best Buy, and I work extremely hard and very focused, but I've always managed to give Keith attention when I take breaks in my office and when I'm off. Now question bloggers, if you and your significant other only saw each other once a week or maybe two weeks wouldn't want the communication between you to be stronger? Its like if you're blind all your other senses have to strenghten right? A simple thing as communication couldn't be fullfilled so I had to let keith go. I don't know why he couldn't fulfill that request because A. Keith never tells me if he's going thru something or let me in his personal space, he holds it in and tells his "brothers" instead of his boyfriend. I don't even know what he does for work "cause its not important to talk about" Now I drove 40 mins to his house everytime so we can chill and always suggests things we can do. He couldn't deliever half of what I brought to the table. I even expressed my issue about him being on BGC and he still stayed on it. So he lied to me, and disrespected our relationship. So he wasn't ready to give it up anyway and focus. I love keith jones with all my heart, but its not that we r on seperate paths (cus everyone has different paths in life) he just DOESN'T want to give what this relationship requires and that's attention. I was DONE with dudes and relationships before keith came and he pulled out all his guns to get me, but when he had me..he didn't give much at all. That's my side blogger, read it and weap, keith ill always love you, but I am done with dating PERIOD! You were the last! Good luck!

Keith Jones said...

To the obvious anonymous blogger I wouldn't normally respond through this medium but since its over with why not. And since I believe in transparency I will not delete that comment. First off I came to realize over those 4 months that I can't handle "distant" relationships. I am used to seeing my significant other way more than a couple of days a week. Second I agree you would think a relationship could thrive without seeing each other, but clearly not a 4 month relationship. Relationships need time to grow and thrive before its put to a test like that. Third I can admit to not telling everything because I didn't find it important to tell and was insignificant as it related to us. As far as this BGC mess goes I hardly if ever was on there and if I was it was checking on something my brother wanted to show me or catching up with friends in Atlanta. BGC is old and lame and certainly does not interest me like it use to. I always knew there was some trust issue there and thats not my fault. As far as work goes it was a short discussion because as I said its a transition job. All along you knew that I was offered to teach in NY and now since much isn't holding me back I think I might take that offer. Oh and to respond to that other comment that I tell my brothers everything when you tell you bestfriend things that you didn't/ couldn't tell me? Thats like the pot callin the kettle black. He drove to DC and I drove there once because like I said im having car issues. And to say that you suggested EVERYTHING is really funny. But im tired of this tic for tac argument. You live and you learn.
Its funny I sat and listened to my grandmother talk about President Obama and Michelle and the fact that they were both going in the same direction. Both lawyers in there early 30's at the time and was ready. I absolutely agree that maybe I am not ready for anything so serious. I am 23 and I have a lot I want to accomplish, places to go and people to meet. Thats why I said the timing was off, but not the person.

Anonymous said...

Its fine that you believe that. We obviously have different views and we don't seem to see eye to eye. You knew what I wanted and vice versa when we first started dated, so if it wasn't what you wanted you shouldn't have waisted your time. You seem to have a one sided view on how life should pan out. OPEN YOUR MIND! WEWERE NEVER long distant first and for most, we r 30 mins away from each other, I let you know ahead of time when I would be off but you give excuses like "its raining, I don't have a hair cut, wrestling is on tonight" you put up more barriers for me EVEN when I MADE time for us to hang out. Yes your used to seeing your boyfriends whenever you want but you need to learn to live in the present and stop comparing your past to your future desires. I've always been open n honest with you from the start, more importantly to myself. Nobody wakes up and desides that they aren't ready for a particular relationship, you've been in four already, so that should render u experienced. You need to sit and think about what you're saying because u make it seem like I'm pending u against a wall. See it from my eyes, its not my way or the highway, its pick up the phone and say "hey how's ya day" or open up when u don't want to...just like I did when I told u I was positive!! Sometimes u have to be selfless to grow. Take ur time and listen to what I'm saying and stop being a stubborn ass! One day you will realize how much I really love you...it may be too late when u do!

Keith Jones said...

Exactly stubbornness will get you every time. I knew also from the start that as a leo and you as a taurus stubborn would probably be an issue.
So those "Excuses" that I gave are not valid. Those are things that you obviously didn't understand or I did make amends for. For example No I don't like going out when I know I need a haircut. Second wrestling, lol come on I have missed many Monday night shows to spend time with you.

-My past desires could also be my future desires and in this I mean what is wrong with wanting to see someone often? I don't see it as a comparison just something normal.

-I text'd and IM'd all the time. Some days I did not feel like talking or when you got off late I was tired and not feeling an elaborate conversation.

-I never just woke up and said I wasn't ready for this it was gradual and you should know that since you feel I gradually stopped caring.

Anonymous said...

Keith, if you cared as much as you claimed to have cared, our distance wouldn't matter. No there isn't wrong with wanting to see someone all the time but that wasn't OUR reality, but I made changes to my schedule so I could spend time with u more, I open on fridays, I work on some sundays so I can have mondays off. In a relationship, ANY relationship sacrafices have to be made to make it work, some changes have to be made, and you've done the bare minimum. I'm not just making this up, cause you KNOW its true!! I did more than you to make it work and when I gave u a break, u just let it ride like nothing was wrong. It has nothing with being a leo and taurus, u said ur self I'm not like your ex who is also a taurus,if I was stubborn I wouldn't have sacraficed anything to try and make it work. Bottom line is I did more in this relationship and you couldn't do ONE SMALL thing I asked from you. And on the BGC thing, I trusted you, but you told me you froze it, and you then reopened it without COMMUNICATING that with me, which makes that shit look sneaky. Then you changed your password as if you had something to hide. HOLLA back and wake up yo! You aren't ready for this real shyt I got!

Keith Jones said...

You make it sound like you didn't do a thing wrong, that you had it all figured out which is clearly not the case. The fact of the matter is the timing is just not right for me and maybe even for you.
Distance does matter to me, maybe you are stronger in that area than I am. As far as making sacrifices I did as well. For new years instead of going to church with my fam I spent it with you and Carlos and his BF. I took off some days so we could hang out so im a little tired of hearing this sacrifice mess and that I do the bare minimum it just sounds like nit-picking.
Back to BGC and this is my last response to this, there is and hasn't ever been anything to hide. Ok so I didn't tell you but you never brought the issue back up, infact I didn't know it was still an issue because I was rarely on there. I recall 3 conversations on this topic and in the last one I explained why I was on there.

Anonymous said...

You never said if I did anything wrong, and if I recall you said "everything is going good in my eyes". Which means you are blively unaware to the fact that your communication is the problem. And if something was wrong with the distance thing, I wouldve never known cause u didn't communicate it to me cause "everything is going good in my eyes". So this is bullshit you are conjuring up. Just be a man and admit your communication towards this relationship was fucked up and you COULD have done more! There are two types of people in this world, the unwilling and the unable. You have a mouth and a phone so u are able to communicate. But you didn't do any of that, and you're sittin up here making me look like a nit picking wife.

Keith Jones said...

I know my communication is A problem you don't have to tell me that. And opening up is a problem of mine as well. See I can admit this because I know im not perfect.

The main issue here is defining communication and how much of it and what is said. If there is something highly important it will be said. However the communication you raise is talking every single night which is ok but some nights are late and some days are not days I wanna chit-chat so texting or IM is better for me.

Anonymous said...

Ok but I get off at 9:30 now...so what's the excuse now?

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

Ok, this got messy real fast. LoL. I know I'm a few hours late but I hope ya'll called each other and squared this away...lol Good luck.


~Damnit!