Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Well if you are reading this you made it through another year. 525,600 minutes as the play/movie Rent put it. This has been a year of many trials and tribulations for me to say the very least, and im glad to see it go. 2009 couldn't come at a better time. People need to feel refreshed and rejuventated and a new year is what the doctor ordered. Maybe next year we can do things different, not just for ourselves but for others. Maybe we can show love and compassion for the sick, edlerly and poor. Maybe in 2009 we will be a little bit nicer to each other. I believe that every little bit helps and every change makes a difference so when you put it all together things come out looking so much better than you could have imagined.
For 2009 the first year with a new black president, I am really glad to see that we are moving in the right direction as a country. I pray for Obama's safety and judgment as he takes office January 20th. I pray for an economic relief for all who are struggling and for cures to maladies and diseases in 2009. I pray for the grandmother that prays for me daily. I pray for families to come together again and put aside past issues. Let 2009 truly be the year of change.
Happy New Year!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Wassup all, I hope you had a good Christmas and that you are as excited as I am for the upcoming year. 2009 is going to be a good year. Obama is going to make some changes that we need desperately.
So tonight I am bit conflicted. I am having serious thoughts about returning back to Atlanta. In addition to missing my friends, church down there, an extention of my freedom and of course the night life, I feel like I didn't complete my task there. I want to go back to school since the job market is looking slow and what better than to continue my pursuit of happiness than by getting more education. Wonderful idea if I had the money to finance it. It seems like as a political science major I can't find many scholarships. I know my gpa is not what it was in high school where I was Valedictorian but life hit me hard after my first year of college. Morehouse is one helluva school to pay for. 30 G's and it goes up every year.Sure I have a lot of scholarships but only covered half. Its funny I did so well my freshman year and stayed in the club lol. However once I moved off campus (since it saved me a lot of money) got a car, since the Marta in ATL literally goes nowhere, my focus on school slacked drastically. I don't know how people manage school and a full time job but my hat goes off to them. I took a job at a restaurant that paid good tip money since I was good at what I did.
DC right now is not giving me promise. The only thing that is really keeping me here other than trying to finance school is my BF, and my family. My family however can live without me since they are use to me coming and going away to school. I am pondering on asking if my BF would consider moving to Atlanta. He's never been there before and the only thing really keeping him here is his brother and his job. Im sure he can transfer to a Best Buy in Atlanta since he has recieved high commendations on his work. Still its a big step and a lot to ask. Of course I could do school here in DC where it would be wayyyy cheaper, infact so cheap the school would be giving me money back lol. Still I would want to continue to work and get my own place. Since I wrote this I think I may have made a decision.
So I have to write about a really funny time I had at this gay conference. (Yes a gay conference_ The HRC sponsored an HBCU summit every year in DC for students that wanted to network and help manage their campus GLBT organizations.I went for 3 years and just about every year has a story, lol so I will just write about the most interesting time I had. My last year at the conference I had spotted this dude that I though was so smart and cute. I even told my bestfriend who was there that I was going to get him. I guess I played my cards right. The dude we'll call Mickey. So Mickey and I didn't even talk at all the first day. It so happened that we started talking on capitol hill where we were lobbying members of Congress to support the HRC and share our stories. Believe it or not, we took an extended lunch break, bought some liquor for our "social later on that night" left the liquor with his friend since he attended Howard and headed back to the hill. On the way we talked and got to know each other.
When we got back to the hotel it was on! I acted as a bartender since I had the most skills at the time from working behind a bar. Let me tell you when you put gay ppl and liquor together in a room, it all comes out! It was maybe 7 of us in the room. Dudes were starting to get a little frisky if you know what I mean. They started playing this game where you have to blindfold someone and act out their fantasy. Oh the catch, the lights are out! Lawd when those lights came on this nikka was naked! lol. It sounded like phone sex to be honest since you couldn't see anything. So they ended up leaving and it was just me Mickey and two other dudes. It was hella silent because all I could hear was those two kissing and it was dark. Mickey and I at this point were already laying down in the bed because I decided to give him a massage before that crazy game started.We started kissing and taking off clothes, and dry humping for a bit. Next to us I could hear the bed rocking which meant they were wayyy ahead of us. However we didnt get that far since we had fell asleep together. Now in the morning was a different story. it was soo funny coming down to breakfast late and I know everyboy knew but hey it was cute lol. Mickey and I were an item for those few days. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. I was so pissed when we had to leave. My bestfriend was like you got it bad lol.
So today we are still friends, more like associates. I eventually came back to DC of course and we spent the night together again. Got a damn parking ticket because of street cleaning but it was worth it lol. Ironically I saw him in the club like a month ago and my current BF was with me so I introduced them. No shade I keep it real. Now had Mickey tried to flirt with me it would have been a different story but I knew he wouldn't do that.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
I tried to find a poem for you
to try something different, fair and true
I searched for hours with no luck at all
It was like searching for love again
like i use to do in a mall
browsing from place to place
looking for the right thing to say
so I decided to write my own poem
one that expresses my very thoughts
I need you like a heart needs a beat
man that's so deep
I just can't sleep
Until I finish this poem
Im not the one to be soft
Cause when I did people scoffed
But now that I have you
The days are no longer blue
This poem is almost over now
But before I say ciao
I hope you got a little bit of my thoughts
one in a million
just like your heart.
Monday, December 22, 2008
I was reading a Time magazine article written early this year about gay relationships. It gave a story of a gay couples fire that had just blown out. They tried therapy amongst other things but it just ended. I was saddened to read the article and it makes me feel like relationships in general are futile. It raise many points about how gays have a hard time making up and the apathy that gays express when there is an issue in the relationship. I had a discussion with my significant other on this topic:
David: i guess in a since nothing last forever..according to that story
Keith: yea as far as gay relationships are concerned
David: they do...but in my eyes...communication is key..without it..relationships wont last
Keith: thats part of it
David: whats the other part
Keith: this is addressing the longevity of gay relationships and each one is different, i think after a period of time even str8 ppl go through that phase of relighting the spark
Keith: it may just be a compatibility issue
David: yea i agree
David: and furthermore..i think men in general just get bored
Keith: well that would explain the high divorce rate
So I must ask is all the searching for "that one" worth it?
And when you do find that person do get bored or find that since you have completed that challenge you can just "lounge" around on the relationship?
Sunday, December 21, 2008
One of the advantages of going to an all-male school is that since no one knows everyone, dudes could easily slip by the no female visitors and curfew. Funny though that was actually brought up in a dorm council meeting on which I sat as fundraising chairman. It didn't get far but it was a laugh to me.
So I called JD and made plans for him to stay the weekend. Friday and Saturday went smooth but we spent most of the time out of the dorm. Sunday though, as we were I guess getting last nutts in we took a risk so I literally moved that big tall dorm dresser/closet thing in front of the door. Thank God I did. As we were in the middle of it, I hear some keys and the door knob trying to turn. I hopped up fast as did JD, rushed to pull up our pants and I went to move the closet thingy. I made up an excuse saying the door must have been jammed. My roommate had seen JD before so he was familiar.
Thinking about it now, my roommate met a lot of my pieces and probably didn't even realize it lol. I'm thinking now I wonder if my roommate ever heard me phone boning lol or saw anything on my pc, although he rarely if ever used it. However I would be on that webcam having the time of my life..I wonder if he ever saw what I was doing under that desk which was turned to face hims o he couldn't see the screen. LOL the life of living undercover.
Even if he knew I was gay, he was a cool dude. I respected his boundries and never attempted to hit on him although my bestfriend thought he was sexy. He wasn't my type, he was skinny and homely lol. He wasn't the neatest person but I swear when he cut his hair junior year, LAWD!
I recall having arguments with gay friends about our roommates and their sexuality. I had a crush my bestfriends roommate as he did mine. We were going to switch rooms for one night but it never happened. His roommate had this southern accent with this BIG nice round ass. In this discussion my bestfriend brought up the fact that one night he heard his roommate masterabating. Quote, "all I heard was squish squish." LOL college days.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
I feel like a sinner for asking this question but I do want to hear your opinions. I did a Google search for tithing and got mixed results. Mostly a lot of Bible scriptures stating that we should tithe. Of course the origins go back to taxes, but is tithing relevant in 2008? The Bible commands that we pay 10% of any income we receive to the church. The words of Malachi, reaffirmed by Jesus, promise those who bring their tithes into the storehouse that the Lord will open "the windows of heaven, and pour [them] out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." The promised blessings are temporal and spiritual. The Lord promises to 'rebuke the devourer,' and he also promises tithe payers that 'all nations shall call you blessed, for ye shall be a delightsome land' (3 Ne. 24:10-12; Mal. 3:10-12)."
I am always curious to see and hear how one is blessed. I know I am although I may want more and in time hopefully I will. Surely it is a blessing just to be in good health and have a sound mind but in times of trouble does our faith pull us out or our tithes? Is tithing an old thing like not eating shell fish?
Wassup all I know it has been a few days since my last blog. I have been trying to get into the Christmas season which just came so fast thsi year. This leads me to my blog for today. Doesn't it feel like time, or life just seems to be passing by? I know the old saying time flies when you're having fun but I think its more than that, and it's not just me that thinks so. I know that in our daily lives we become so accustomed to repetition that we don't notice some things until we stop and think. It feels just like yesterday 9/11/01 happened. Now its almost the year 2009. I find myself thinking can I keep up with time? I turn 24 in 2009, to which the thought i feel old lol. However with this time flux if you will, I have come to appreciate this life more and more. The ups and downs, love, hate, and fear to name a few.
I was watching the animal planet channel one day and there was a show about cats. Some cat owners put a camera around the cats neck so they could see what the cat was doing when they were away at work. The camera took a picture every 10 minutes. The images were amazing and I said all of this to say what a beautiful world we live in. The picture that stood out the most to me showed the deep green blades of grass with the sun high in the sky.
This entire blog leads me to say despite all of the everyday issues we have with our loved ones, friends, and even our own internal conflicts, just stop and look around and live to appreciate because that loved one may not be there tomorrow. Take time to take in God's green earth because even that seems to be fading everyday. Time waits for no man, it only passes you by, and life will still go on.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Alrite time for story #2 in this series of real life tales. Tonight I want to talk about this dude that had been stalking me in class lol. Ok this was 2 or 3 years ago and I had this dude in my political science class that apparently had been watching me for a long time. He hit me up online one day and I remember trying to figure out who in the world was he. Of course I went over the people that I wanted it to be that was in the class lol but found out it was someone else. Since my bestfriend was also in that class with me I had him help scope out who it could have been. So eventually he decided that he was going to see me after class. He was ok looking, not who I expected because you couldn't tell he was gay at all. We walked and talked and exchanged numbers. I think about a month went by before I invited him over to my place. We talked online a lot in between that time. So he drove way out to Austell, GA, about 15 mins down I-20 from downtown ATL where my bestfriend and I had moved to. When he came in we talked, watched a movie in my room. We were discussing wrestling since I am a big fan and he told me that he used to wrestle. Eventually started wrestling lol. He was really good actually. So that led to kissing, sucking, rubbing, stroking and nutting lol. After that he decided he was going to cook for me so we went to the local Kroger, a grocery store in the south, and he made this delicious alfredo. He stayed the night, nothing else happened till the morning where we got our freak on before he left to go to work. We still talk actually to this day. We have had many "sessions" over the years and I found out that he wanted to date me. I brushed him off since I wasn't feeling him like that. I realize now why i've been called a heartbreaker.
Wassup all, so I have been having a lot of heart to hearts lately, but today it really broke me down. I feel like I was disected or something. It all came to reveal that I am severely burned. Im so scarred from the past that I can't even say I love you to close friends, not to mention my significant other. I have always been a private person, some would say an introvert and I just blamed it on nature. Im big on the zodiac and horoscopes so I blame my Leonic ways lol.
I remember I use to love hard. I use to have hard crushes and really had love for all my boyfriends. Now I feel like im indifferent. Even worse I have someone that truly likes me but I don't know how to return the favor. I know I have always had a problem communicating how I feel, because to be its a weakness, but now I think I need to confront that issue. Im really feeling Beyonce's song flaws and all, cause thats how I feel.
So as I was chatting on yahoo tonight with my friend I ended up talking about my promiscous past. People always say about themselves that they can write books, well I am going to start a series of blogs lol based on my past sexual experiences. I will try to remember the great details to keep you hooked. Some of this may shock you. Some may even judge. Its all good, I have been there. I just want you to enjoy it. No editing. No censoring, pure unadulterated hook ups. Plus my commentary of course lol.
For obvious reasons I will not disclose any real names. So Apparently I just found out as im typing this that my friend who lived in LA two years ago messed with this same Asian dude that I messed with 2 years ago when he was visiting ATL. We described him to the point.
So I forgot his name but we'll call him Chen, I met him on BGC one Sunday afternoon when I should have been studying. Horny and studying don't go along so I did my daily routine of getting on BGC. I am a very picky person so half the messages I didnt respond to. However this cute Asian dude had sent me a message. He was short, like I like my dudes, had a pretty smile and a decent body. We exchanged messages to reveal he was visiting from LA and wanted to get into something. We then exchanged numbers and then we talked on the phone for a little bit. I can recall he had this West coast accent that really turned me on. He told me he was staying at the Westin in downtown Alanta, no more than 10 minutes from where I was and asked if I wanted to roll through. Horny and satisfied with his qualifications I took the bait. I hopped in the car and headed down MLK drive toward downtown Atlanta.
I found a parking spot in the parking lot of the City Cafe where my friends and I would go after clubbing sometimes. I walked about 1/2 a block towards the hotel and gave him a call. He told me his room number 700 something, so I thought immediately he must have a good view. (Google Westin in ATL and you can see what I mean) So I finally made my way to the elevators, which moved fast as hell to the floor. I knocked and he opened. He was dressed very urban, looking very much like his pics. We chatted for a bit about the time he was spending in ATL and he had showed me what he had bought. I remember thinking this dude is really tryna be a blasian lol. But then I went for it. I went down and pulled down his zipper, took out his dick an started sucking. I can still remember the pubic hair being wavy and looking a little different lol. His piece was ok, what I expected for an Asian lol. He was making all this noise and talkin trash which sounded hot as hell. So we took it to the bed, took off our clothes and 69'd till we both came. he nutted on my chest and I on his face, oops lol. A hot oral session to say the least. I remember texting him for for a few weeks after, with him telling me he wanted me to come to LA and visit him. However we lost contact over time. That was my first and only time with an Asian dude.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Well since everyone I follow posted a blog I thought I would post a more personal one. I appreciate the comments I have been getting and I have enjoyed reading a lot of your blogs. Too much at times lol but certainly enjoyable.
Tonight I sit here a man in a relationship going on officially 2 months unofficially 4 months. That means we dated for 2 months before we made it official. Anyway I have been in 5 relationships since Aug 2004, the time I "came out" and to say the least this one is different. First its different because its the first person I have ever dated in DC, my hometown. All of my exes lived in ATL where I had my own place, own car, I did my own thing. Now that I am back home in DC trying to re-establish myself it has not been easy trying to maintain a relationship. Don't get me wrong, dude is a good fit and very understanding. He has his own issues to deal with like trying to find an apartment and move away from his grandmother. He too had an apartment but got burned by his roommate not holding up his end of the deal so he moved out. Now the difference between us is that he is working pretty much as a manager at Best Buy making pretty good money. Me, well my lousy job isnt paying much, but I thank God for it. His hours are kinda rough. He works in the evenings, I work in the day. So we picked Sunday, a day we are both off, to hang out. I am committed to this relationship although it is tough now, because I know this situation wont last always. The economy is rough and jobs are scarce, even in DC but im searching for something better and trying to finish school at the same time. So many times I have thought about just going back to ATL. There I am guaranteed a job with my bestfriend at Comcast, or I could always go into serving at my old restaurant where I made at least $150 a night. However im not the one to give up and will weather the storm of my personal trials.
Friday, December 5, 2008
After sitting and watching the OJ verdict, I just thought well this has certainly been the year of the black male. Black men have been struggling to gain a positive image from 1 to 80 years old. We have a crisis in this country when it comes to black males. We hold up as the most incarcerated, amongst other negative stereotypes.
First and foremost poor OJ. He got AWAY last time and he ended up back in the system and convicted. IDIOT. I mean what more can I say. Too bad Cochran wasnt here to save him this time.
Plaxico Burress. I dont know which football star is more of an idiot OJ or Plaxico. I mean come on who wears sweat pants to a club with a gun in the pocket? THEN u stupdily end up shooting yourself, pretty much lose your job, and face criminal charges. A GOT DAMN SHAME. Some people don't deserve fame and money, they just dont know what to do with it.
Kwame Kilpatrick another idiot. How stupid can you be to use lie under oath about a marital affair. Didnt he learn from Clinton? The former mayor of Detroit really screwed up, enough said.
Michael Vick. The former Atlanta Falcons Quarterback was convicted on dog fighting charges. Consequently he lost his job and ended up in prison.
T.I. another idiot move with weapons charges.
Barack Obama. 44th president, clearly the epitomy of what one can become when you put your mind to it.